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Understanding Stress and Building Resilience.
Burnout is becoming more common as we juggle the demands of work, relationships, and personal growth. As a counsellor in the UK, I frequently work with individuals feeling trapped in a never-ending cycle of stress and overwhelm. In this blog, we’ll explore how stress affects us, what causes it, and most importantly, how we can break free from it. We’ll also discuss how counselling can offer vital support along the way—helping you understand and manage stress more effectively.\
The Stress Cycle Response: Why We Get Stressed and What We Feel
Stress is a natural response triggered when we perceive a threat. Whether the danger is real or imagined, our body prepares for fight, flight, or freeze by releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This stress cycle response is designed to protect us, but when it's activated too often or for prolonged periods, it can take a toll on our health and well-being.
When we are stressed, it’s common to feel anxious, irritable, fatigued, or overwhelmed. Your heart rate increases, your muscles tense, and your breathing becomes shallow. This is where counselling can help. A counsellor can work with you to identify what is triggering your stress response and help you understand how it manifests in your body and mind. By increasing awareness of these signals, you can take steps to interrupt the cycle before it leads to burnout.
What Causes Stress?
Stress can be triggered by a range of external and internal factors, such as work pressure, relationship challenges, financial worries, and health concerns. While these are common stressors, internal struggles like low self-esteem, unresolved trauma, and perfectionism also contribute.
Counselling provides a space to explore these causes in depth. Together, we can identify specific stressors in your life, understand the patterns of thinking or behaviour that keep you stuck, and create strategies to address them. Having a supportive guide in this process can help you gain clarity and perspective on the stress in your life.
Different Kinds of Stress
There are several types of stress we encounter:
Acute stress: A short-term response to an immediate challenge. This can feel energising in the moment but fades quickly once the situation is resolved.
Chronic stress: This type lingers for extended periods due to ongoing concerns such as work pressure or unresolved emotional pain. Chronic stress is a major contributor to burnout.
A counsellor can help you recognise the type of stress you’re dealing with and guide you in developing appropriate coping techniques to manage it. Whether you’re experiencing short bursts of stress or dealing with long-term pressure, therapy can offer tools for navigating both.
Dealing With Stress You Cannot Control.
Life is full of unpredictable events, and some stressors are beyond our control. When faced with such situations, the way you respond becomes key. Counselling can support you in shifting from a state of helplessness to one of empowerment. Often, when we feel we can’t change a situation, we end up stuck in a mindset of helplessness. A counsellor can help you unlearn this pattern, teaching you how to regain a sense of agency over your life, even in circumstances that seem unchangeable.
By working with a counsellor, you can learn how to accept what you can’t control and focus on what you can change—your response. This shift can be incredibly freeing, helping you reduce the emotional burden that uncontrollable stress brings.
How Social Connections Can Help.
Stress often worsens when we feel isolated, yet sharing our experiences with others can offer significant relief. Human beings thrive on connection, and relationships provide emotional support and validation during difficult times. A counsellor can help you assess the strength of your current social network and identify ways to foster more meaningful connections. This can make a big difference in reducing feelings of loneliness and providing you with support when you need it most.
Moreover, counselling itself offers a unique, supportive relationship. In therapy, you have a space to be fully seen and heard, which can help you feel less alone in your struggles.
How Sleep Can Help and Why.
Sleep is one of the most important ways to support your overall well-being, particularly when dealing with stress. When we don’t get enough rest, our ability to manage stress decreases, making it more challenging to think clearly and respond calmly to difficulties.
A counsellor can work with you to identify patterns that may be disrupting your sleep, whether that’s anxiety keeping you awake at night or stress affecting your ability to wind down. Together, you can explore techniques to improve sleep hygiene and find ways to prioritise rest, which will in turn help you build resilience against stress.
You Deserve Love and Respect.
During stressful times, it’s easy to slip into negative self-talk, where we criticise ourselves for struggling or not handling things "perfectly." Self-compassion is a practice that can counter these feelings, but it’s often difficult to develop. Counselling offers a space to explore these challenges with kindness and understanding, helping you rebuild a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
A therapist can guide you in recognising your inherent worth, no matter how stressful or difficult life becomes. You deserve love and respect, not only from others but from yourself too. With the help of a counsellor, you can begin to nurture this belief.
Why Self-Compassion Can Be Hard.
For many of us, self-compassion feels unfamiliar or even uncomfortable. We might have learned that being tough on ourselves is necessary to succeed. In therapy, we can work on challenging these limiting beliefs and understanding why being kind to ourselves is essential for our mental and emotional health. Through this process, you learn to trust your body’s signals and respond with compassion when stress arises. Your therapist can offer guidance and support as you navigate this new way of being.
How Gratitude Can Help.
Focusing on gratitude is a simple yet powerful way to shift your mindset away from stress and negativity. By recognising the good things in your life, you can foster a more balanced perspective, even when facing challenges.
A counsellor can help you incorporate gratitude practices into your daily life, supporting you as you build resilience against stress. While acknowledging stress is important, gratitude offers a counterbalance that nurtures a sense of hope and positivity.
Trust Your Body and Be Kind to Yourself.
Your body constantly gives you signals—whether it's tension in your shoulders or fatigue creeping in, it’s telling you what it needs. Learning to trust these signals and respond with care is vital for breaking the stress cycle. Counselling can help you reconnect with your body, teaching you to listen and respond with kindness when it asks for rest or nourishment.
Being kind to yourself isn’t indulgent—it’s necessary for your mental health and well-being. In therapy, you can explore what self-care looks like for you and how to prioritise it, even in the midst of life’s demands.
Your Joy Matters.
When we’re caught in the stress cycle, it’s easy to forget the importance of joy. Yet joy is vital for your emotional health—it replenishes your energy and restores a sense of balance. A counsellor can help you reconnect with what brings you joy, and guide you in making space for these moments, no matter how small.
Remember, joy is not something you have to earn—it’s something you inherently deserve. In therapy, you can explore what truly brings you joy and find ways to incorporate it into your life, helping you combat burnout and stress.
Talking to a Counsellor Can Help.
Counselling provides a space for you to unpack your stress, gain clarity, and develop the tools to manage it. Whether you’re facing chronic stress, burnout, or feeling overwhelmed by life’s demands, a therapist can help you navigate these challenges. Through self-awareness, compassion, and support, counselling offers a path to break free from the stress cycle and reclaim your well-being. You don’t have to face stress alone talking to a counsellor can make all the difference.
By Anne Walker
Ocean Waves counselling
September 2024
